Monday, August 3, 2009

When Doves Cry

"I'm fine."
I had the hardest time waking up Saturday morning. During the time I should have been dressing, I was dreaming. It's strange for me to remember a dream. Usually, they are not so vivid but this one was.

I was dreaming that I was at the family house, getting ready to leave for the funeral. Everyone piled into the car except me and my uncle's youngest son. We said we would walk around to the church. After the car pulled off, we heard a noise in my uncle's room. Mind you this is ten minutes before the funeral was to begin. When we went to check on the noise, my uncle was sitting there looking at us.

I say to him "Everyone is at your funeral, waiting for you. It starts in ten minutes. What are you doing here?" He says, "I'm fine." We continue explaining, thinking he didn't understand. Again, he says, "I'm fine. I'm going back to sleep now."

I can LOL at it now but at the time I was thinking, you've been sleeping for a week. Get up!
I reluctantly told my mom about my dream after the funeral and repast. She says, "he's fine. What don't you understand? He came to you to let you know, he is fine."

I still didn't understand. She did not get through to me at all. I still wasn't ready to understand.
So, I explained it all to my husband and he said the same thing. "He's fine. He knew you needed to know."

I understand now.

As the dream went on, I walked down the stairs to head to the church and let everyone know he was fine. There were two women awaiting me. They were asking if I was okay. I explained to them how he had just awakened. The one woman said "I'm so glad to hear." The other just smiled. I finally gained my good senses and recognized the first women to be my good friend Kyra. I also noticed that the two had their hands filled with bags and food. I asked, "Why did you come so far?" Kyra said, "Because we are friends." The other woman just smiled again. It took me longer to recognize her but I now realize she was my good friend Stephanie. I think they appeared because they both offered their love and guidance when I needed it most.

Today, I thank The Creator for that dream. It brought me so much peace. I really would have walked in there with an ugly attitude. There were two people I was hoping would not be there and one showed up. But I was better for it after that dream and after those reverends preached. Wooo! I could feel the spirit. I could feel the love in that room. My uncle was loved! I am a better person because he was in my life.


  1. wow, wow, wow, Ty…

    I had a VERY similar dream when my uncle passed a couple of years ago. Maybe the universe knew that I really could understand how you were feeling and what you needed…(after all of my confusion about your blog)
    I'm so glad I was there to bring you love and food...

    My uncle was basically the only person in my life that would do anything within his abilities for me. He even stood up to my dad (his older brother the 'doctor') for me only months before his death. When he passed I was a wreck. He died in my arms in the middle school classroom where he taught wood shop for 32 years. Also no one really knew the circumstances he was living in until after he died and I was the one to discover it. Granted I did not have kids to be nurturing, but I also had no family support at all, and my father's wife disowned me at that time as well...I really had nowhere to turn or anyone to go to. Somehow, before my uncle made the ‘full transition’ he understood that I was really struggling with his pre-mature death, my guilt upon understanding that he must have been a really tortured soul... and understood that I was feeling terribly alone.

    The dream I had was very similar to yours: We were at a 'family' house and my uncle was sitting in the reclining chair (that my grandfather would love to watch the sunset with my granny on his lap). My sister and mom were at my uncle’s side standing next to the chair very calmly. I walked up and was freaking out that he was sitting there because he had just died. (My mom had also passed when I had the dream but that didn’t seem to bother me.) He did not say anything to me, and I could tell he knew that looking right at me would be too much. It was not words but his presence and tranquility that told me to relax, to stop worrying, to let him go, that he was fine and everything was going to be okay. He was telling me with his presence, his smile, his youth and comfort with himself. He was also telling me by having my sister and mom there (somehow I had more support than I assumed from them). It was such a relief!...Like yours, this dream brought me profound peace in a very tumultuous time. I still think about that dream when ever I think about my uncle...

    I’m so glad to know you had inspired reverends, that you could feel the spirit! and see that your uncle really was loved, and I’m honored that I could be there to be a part of the dream that brought you peace. Thank you so much for sharing…

    p.s. this is a beautiful blog you have going here.

  2. This is so powerful...I just want to relate to you more. I remember after my uncle died, I had a dream he and I were at Mcdonalds. My favorite place (bad I know) and he got me my favorite meal and got his. We sat and ate in silence. I asked him did he feel better, he said yes. He looked so good, he had his weight back, his eyes were bright. He got so skinny before he died, I hate cancer so much. He looked happy...and I cry as I write this to you because I know how powerful your dream was.

    I am just amazed at how similar our experience have been...we are like kindred spirits. I should connect with you more! And I am always here, even if we don't talk every day or every week even.

    I am at a lost for words. I just wanted you to know I saw this.

  3. Thank you both so much because honestly, my family put me off a bit. No one knew what to say to me without upsetting me. My mom actually texted me to inform me of his death. She doesn't like to hear me cry, no one does. But you two made me feel so loved and supported. That really means so much to me.
    It's amazing how similar our experiences were. And it's funny that I really did not want to understand, it took a little pushing. But I let go. I'll always love him and am glad that he has found peace. I am sure you feel the same for your uncles. It's funny, I keep telling people, family is all we have but I mean that including my friends who feel like family as well. Love you so much, I do! Thanks again!

  4. The Niece Trinity...

    This just further confirms my belief that when a person passes of an unusual or untimely death, their energy sticks around to take care of unfinished business. Mostly releasing the ones who they will miss the most, and/or who are suffering the most from their loss in some comforting, almost casual but sacred way...