Sunday, July 26, 2009

Falling apart at the seams

I thought knowing in advance would make the grief less difficult but I was so wrong.
My uncle passed yesterday morning in his sleep. I feel sad, of course. I feel anger and resentment. But, I also feel relieved, for him. The pain is now gone. So is he.
Life is crazy some days. I went to be with my family for support. So many memories rushed back. So many friends I haven't seen and lost contact with. So many people we went to school with, my cousins and I, just passing by, seeing the family out, stopped by. It was strange how it happened. It was lovely to catch up. It was somber to see them at "this" time but it was also good to have the support.
Thanks to my friends who have been holding me together. I love you more than you know!

May he be at peace, soaring with the moon and stars.
Love you always, Uncle Ed!


  1. I always thought that since we knew my uncle would die, it wouldn't be as bad. But I was in denial about him dying...I knew but I didn't think it would happen. It was bad. And it was even worst being the one to have to hold your grandmother together. Everyone in the family made ME be the one to walk her in and sit with her before/during/after the funeral because they claimed i wouldn't lose it but I was losing it inside.

    I know how you feel and I know it's all overwhelming and there is nothing to say to make you feel better. So I just say: Go in the shower and cry and cry and cry. Just give into those feelings, and lose it.

  2. Thank you. The hardest part was going to the house and not seeing or hearing him. But it's a beautiful thing to have family. We all stood stronger together. We all strengthened and encouraged one another. I feel proud of that.