Thursday, July 16, 2009

I can't imagine my life w/o him

I guess I'll share this here as well.

Current mood: disappointed

Some days I feel as if the world is crashing in on me. I have to wonder whose karma I inherited. Then, I realize, not everything is my fault.

I thought the world revolved around him. As a chilld, I followed him everywhere, good and bad. I knew all the best "weed" spots and the best places to sell candy for school fundraisers. He took me everywhere.

Now, I just don't know. I feel so helpless, as if all hope is lost.

It seems that he has been ill for quite some time. I learned of it a year ago but even then, I had no idea it was so serious.

Today, I called to to share with her the story of the fat cat trying to escape through the window. I was laughing, she was crying. She told me if he leaves the hospital this time, he has 3-4 months to live.

He was in the hospital since June 19th. He left because they were not treating him well. Switches to the place of his preference and here we are, mouring before he is even gone.

I had to think to myself, as much as this is a curse, it is also a blessing. Unlike MJ, we have the chance and opportunity to make the best of his last days here on earth with us.

It hurts like hell but it really makes me realize just how precious life is.
What good is life if all you do is live?
It's time to make some changes and celebrate life and all that we have, before it's gone.

Since I posted this days ago on myspace he has been read his last rites and is being sent home tomorrow to die. We will make him as comfortable as possible and help him enjoy his "last days".

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