Wednesday, February 3, 2010

I found myself

I found myself crying today. It was strange. Crying is not typical for me. I'm pretty much a suck-it-up type of woman. I don't like the loss of control that crying makes me feel. But I did. I cried.

For the first time, in a long time, I cried. Not for the reasons I should cry, for all the things I have left behind.

Today, I noticed how much influence the life I've lived has had on me. I looked in the mirror and saw my mother's smile. I heard myself use words I only hear my grandmom say. I poured ketchup and hot sauce on my omelet just the way my uncle always did. I longed for a Mountain Dew and a lemon Tastykake pie just like my grandpop did everyday.

It's amazing the influences people have on you, even when you don't notice. I cannot imagine my life any other way than the way I've lived it; the good, the bad and everything in between.

I guess what I am saying is... I found myself. I found me in every one of them. They all played such a great part in shaping me into the woman I am today. I am very proud of who I am and all that I have accomplished. I am proud of what they instilled in me.


  1. Beautifully said :) I know that feeling too - it makes you feel real :) That is family, learning what ours are & what the do. One day your children will realize that you are a part of them too :)