I am not the first to say this but I am GLAD to see this year end. This year was crazy for me in so many ways. While people were assuming they knew, they truly had NO idea.
The death toll this year was more than I could bear. By the end of October my failing health took a wrong turn. I'd been trying for a long time just to maintain myself but it all caught up to me.
There were so many petty things going on and petty people trying to get me down throughout the year but nothing bothered me until my uncle became ill. Soon after, my paternal grandmother passed away... and so on. It was crazy, hectic and confusing at times.
One thing I know I will take into 2010: Don't sweat the petty stuff. I never have and never will. Outside forces rarely bother me and I won't allow them to start.
My kids come first, then me. Everyone else falls in line. If it doesn't affect me or them...I ain't affected.
For the few who thought they would defeat me these past few years: Give up already. You only make yourself look as stupid as you truly must feel. Am I really worth all the trouble. I wasn't hurt then and I am not hurting now. Just get over me. Get your mind and life right. I forgive you. Forgive yourself.
Biggest thing I learned: Forgive myself. I am not the reason why others are unhappy, they are. And I cannot be expected to fix everyone's problems. It starts with them. If they wanna fix it, they will. Stop expecting me to do it for you.
Adios 2009! I am looking forward to a better year because I am going to MAKE a better year. 2010, look out. I am on my way!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
The birthday blog
It was my intention to do the birthday blog yesterday as I do every year. Usually, I focus on the things I wish to change. This time the only thing I've changed is my mind. I'm content with who I am. If you are not, work on that. I have and I did.
I'm moving forward with or without whomever. I have nothing but high expectations of myself in everything I do. I will succeed. I will be happy and healthy this coming year. I will keep my priorities straight as needed. I recognize that my priorities may not be the same as others. If we are not on the same page, mine are mine. Do you.
My prime focus is my children's education. They will continue to exceed expectations, as will I.
I feel I am a year older, a year wiser. While other's are trying to remain stranded in the past (30 is the new 20) I'm steadily moving forward. At 34, I should not be making the choices I made at 24.
I feel good about myself, my accomplishments and my goals.
I shall will it all to be.
I'm moving forward with or without whomever. I have nothing but high expectations of myself in everything I do. I will succeed. I will be happy and healthy this coming year. I will keep my priorities straight as needed. I recognize that my priorities may not be the same as others. If we are not on the same page, mine are mine. Do you.
My prime focus is my children's education. They will continue to exceed expectations, as will I.
I feel I am a year older, a year wiser. While other's are trying to remain stranded in the past (30 is the new 20) I'm steadily moving forward. At 34, I should not be making the choices I made at 24.
I feel good about myself, my accomplishments and my goals.
I shall will it all to be.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
I fell off the wagon
I know. I am such a LOSER for that. In my defense...N/M. I cannot defend what I did. I walked to the store and purchased a Mountain Dew KNOWING the effects it has on me. I didn't even TRY to fight the urge. I couldn't imagine Thanksgiving dinner w/o the Dew even though I've never had Dew on Thanksgiving before. It makes no sense to me at all either.
I will do better. It is an everyday battle.
I will help myself break this horrible habit, right after I finish this bottle...
I know. I suck...Dew :(
I will do better. It is an everyday battle.
I will help myself break this horrible habit, right after I finish this bottle...
I know. I suck...Dew :(
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Why gift giving is not a bad way to show love
Normally, I would agree for the sake of people who buy attention, friendship and love. But, I've come to another thought today. One that I haven't staggered upon for quite some time.
I understand the joy of receiving a well-thought gift or something you've wanted for quite some time but could never get for yourself.
I pose a question. If someone decides to buy a gift, are they buying YOU?
I think not. I believe a person can buy gifts that 1) show they are attentive to your wants, needs or desires 2) Exhibit how much they care and/or how much they mean to you and 3) send a message that they don't say with words everyday.
Nothing says "I love you" like a well-thought, well-intentioned gift.
Happy Holidays.
I understand the joy of receiving a well-thought gift or something you've wanted for quite some time but could never get for yourself.
I pose a question. If someone decides to buy a gift, are they buying YOU?
I think not. I believe a person can buy gifts that 1) show they are attentive to your wants, needs or desires 2) Exhibit how much they care and/or how much they mean to you and 3) send a message that they don't say with words everyday.
Nothing says "I love you" like a well-thought, well-intentioned gift.
Happy Holidays.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
I feel lost today. I don't even know why. I have hopes, goals and dreams. I'm moving forward. Today, I think I took a pitstop. There will always be pitstops along the way. I'm hoping I can move along from this one speedily.
Some things can't be changed. Some things are out of our hands. I put my faith in The Most High and I will wait this out.
Some things can't be changed. Some things are out of our hands. I put my faith in The Most High and I will wait this out.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Chaos!
People like this make you frightened to leave your home.
From Yahoo News:
[CLEVELAND – More remains were discovered Tuesday at the Cleveland home of a convicted rapist, raising to 10 the number of bodies that have been found there, authorities said.
Four more bodies and a skull were found at the home, where the remains of six women were removed last week, said police Chief Michael McGrath. Fifty-year-old Anthony Sowell, who lives in the home, is in jail and was charged Tuesday with five counts of aggravated murder.
"It appears that this man had an insatiable appetite that he had to fill," McGrath said.
He said the additional bodies were found buried in the backyard of the home. The skull was found in a bucket in the basement.
Authorities do not know whether the skull belongs to an 11th victim, said police spokesman Lt. Thomas Stacho.
The search was to continue Wednesday, with fire department crews planning to search in the walls of the home, McGrath said.
Last week, investigators said they found one body in a shallow grave in the backyard. The rest were inside the house — one in the basement, two in the third-floor living room and two in an upstairs crawl space.
Police discovered the first six bodies Thursday and Friday after a woman reported being raped at Sowell's home, and Sowell also was charged Tuesday with rape, felonious assault and kidnapping related to her complaint.
Sowell is to be arraigned Wednesday, Stacho said.
The Cuyahoga County coroner is attempting to identify those women through DNA and dental records. All six were black, and five were strangled.
The bodies could have been there anywhere from weeks to months to years, said Powell Caesar, a spokesman for the coroner.
On Tuesday, detectives brought in cadaver dogs and digging equipment to scour the home and backyard, looking for evidence to connect Sowell to the bodies, Stacho said.
Police turned up nothing in a search of a quarter-mile swath of abandoned, boarded-up homes near Sowell's residence, which sits in a crowded inner-city neighborhood of mostly older houses.
They plan to scour another quarter-mile area Wednesday, McGrath said. He said Sowell did not have a car would have had to take a city bus to travel.
A crowd of about a hundred people milled about and chatted near the home Tuesday evening.
One of those in the crowd, Antoinnette Dudley, 29, lives a few houses away. She said she could smell a terrible odor like something was dead all summer. She said she saw Sowell only a few times, mainly drinking beer while he sat on his porch.
The discovery of more bodies Tuesday surprised Dudley. "I didn't think he was that sick," she said.
Sowell is a registered sex offender and required to check in regularly at the sheriff's office. Officers didn't have the right to enter his house, but they would stop by to make sure he was there. Their most recent visit was Sept. 22, just hours before the woman reported being raped.
For the past few years, Sowell's neighbors thought the foul smell enveloping their street corner had been coming from a brick building where workers churned out sausage and head cheese.
It got so bad that the owners of Ray's Sausage replaced their sewer line and grease traps.
City Councilman Zack Reed, whose mother lives a block from the area, said he called the city health department on more than one occasion.
"What happened from there, we don't know," he said. "It was no secret that there was a foul odor. We don't want to point fingers, but clearly something could have been done differently."
Reed said he and other community leaders want an investigation into whether police and health inspectors missed any signs that could have tipped them off to the bodies inside the house.]
From Yahoo News:
[CLEVELAND – More remains were discovered Tuesday at the Cleveland home of a convicted rapist, raising to 10 the number of bodies that have been found there, authorities said.
Four more bodies and a skull were found at the home, where the remains of six women were removed last week, said police Chief Michael McGrath. Fifty-year-old Anthony Sowell, who lives in the home, is in jail and was charged Tuesday with five counts of aggravated murder.
"It appears that this man had an insatiable appetite that he had to fill," McGrath said.
He said the additional bodies were found buried in the backyard of the home. The skull was found in a bucket in the basement.
Authorities do not know whether the skull belongs to an 11th victim, said police spokesman Lt. Thomas Stacho.
The search was to continue Wednesday, with fire department crews planning to search in the walls of the home, McGrath said.
Last week, investigators said they found one body in a shallow grave in the backyard. The rest were inside the house — one in the basement, two in the third-floor living room and two in an upstairs crawl space.
Police discovered the first six bodies Thursday and Friday after a woman reported being raped at Sowell's home, and Sowell also was charged Tuesday with rape, felonious assault and kidnapping related to her complaint.
Sowell is to be arraigned Wednesday, Stacho said.
The Cuyahoga County coroner is attempting to identify those women through DNA and dental records. All six were black, and five were strangled.
The bodies could have been there anywhere from weeks to months to years, said Powell Caesar, a spokesman for the coroner.
On Tuesday, detectives brought in cadaver dogs and digging equipment to scour the home and backyard, looking for evidence to connect Sowell to the bodies, Stacho said.
Police turned up nothing in a search of a quarter-mile swath of abandoned, boarded-up homes near Sowell's residence, which sits in a crowded inner-city neighborhood of mostly older houses.
They plan to scour another quarter-mile area Wednesday, McGrath said. He said Sowell did not have a car would have had to take a city bus to travel.
A crowd of about a hundred people milled about and chatted near the home Tuesday evening.
One of those in the crowd, Antoinnette Dudley, 29, lives a few houses away. She said she could smell a terrible odor like something was dead all summer. She said she saw Sowell only a few times, mainly drinking beer while he sat on his porch.
The discovery of more bodies Tuesday surprised Dudley. "I didn't think he was that sick," she said.
Sowell is a registered sex offender and required to check in regularly at the sheriff's office. Officers didn't have the right to enter his house, but they would stop by to make sure he was there. Their most recent visit was Sept. 22, just hours before the woman reported being raped.
For the past few years, Sowell's neighbors thought the foul smell enveloping their street corner had been coming from a brick building where workers churned out sausage and head cheese.
It got so bad that the owners of Ray's Sausage replaced their sewer line and grease traps.
City Councilman Zack Reed, whose mother lives a block from the area, said he called the city health department on more than one occasion.
"What happened from there, we don't know," he said. "It was no secret that there was a foul odor. We don't want to point fingers, but clearly something could have been done differently."
Reed said he and other community leaders want an investigation into whether police and health inspectors missed any signs that could have tipped them off to the bodies inside the house.]
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